It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
In an orderly world, there is always a place for the disorderly.
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustment.
Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails.
There are more things in heaven and Earth than any other place.
If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.
If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive
Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
Success is something I will dress for when I get there, and not until.
A penny saved has not been spent.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
I may not be the world’s greatest lover, but number seven’s not bad.
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
Living on Earth includes an annual free trip around the Sun.
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
An example of hard water is ice.
Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think.
Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
If we all work together we can totally disrupt the system.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
How long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
He/she has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Keep stress out of your life. Give it to others instead.
If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map.
Ignorance: When you don’t know anything, and someone else finds out.
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
There is nothing wrong with abstinence, in moderation.
Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you that day.
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.