…Titanic vs. Clinton…

Students at a local school were assigned to read two books, ‘Titanic’ & ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:     cost – $29.99
Clinton:    cost –  $29.99

Titanic:     Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:    Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:     The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:    The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:     Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:    Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:     In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:    Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:     During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton:    Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:     Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:    Let’s not go there.

Titanic:     Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:    Monica is forced to return her gifts

Titanic:    Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:   Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic:    Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:   Monica…ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic:    Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:   Bill goes home to Hilary – basically the same thing.

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